Growing up too fast, too early

There is so much pressure on kids today to be “attractive” and “perfect” that they’re losing the ability to just be kids. Little girls are dressing like they’re heading out to the clubs, while little boys are becoming so self-absorbed and callous. What type of future can they expect?

For example, I was at the bus stop the other day with the boys when I saw our neighbor’s daughter. She seems to be an “okay” kid, but every time I see her, I’m reminded of how far our society has slid into distant parenting. This particular girl is a perfect example of that failure because most mornings she’s also responsible for her little brother since their parents are long gone by the time the bus arrives.

• She’s in fourth grade and spends the time trying to keep him out of trouble for the 10-15 minutes they wait for the bus. I’d really hate to know what would happen if anyone told him to go play in traffic.
• Her clothing seldom reflects the outside temperature. For example, if it’s snowing she might be bundled up, but once the weatherman announces it’s finally out of the 30’s, she’ll be in shorts or really thin dresses. I guess I should be thankful she hasn’t succumbed to emulating either Britney Spears, Lil Kim, Rhianna…
• Just this school year alone, she has dyed her hair so many times, I can’t keep count. I’m not referring to the funky color rinses that wash out after a couple of showers, I’m talking about going from light brown to fuchsia highlights to an almost platinum blond. I wonder if Botox or laser hair removal is next on her TO-DO list, possibly right after “fake baking”.

I also find it a bit disconcerting that she wears Sketchers Shape ups. She’s a very active girl so why would fitness shoes even need to be considered?  I can’t fathom the reasons behind any of this and I’m sure I’ll be called out for being insensitive, but I think the shoes might be due to her mother being considerably overweight and a way to, hopefully, prevent the daughter from the same. If my assumption is correct, there’s a better way to make sure this doesn’t happen: teach her to eat right, urge her to continue being active and, if there’s even a slight chance for a medical condition being the culprit, make sure she receives the proper care and medication. Above all else, let her be a kid!

I wish I could talk to them about my concerns, but I’m barely on speaking terms with the parents due partly to the fact their son and most of the other kids in the neighborhood, act as if they are reenacting “Lord of the Flies“. Besides, how do you approach people who are oblivious to what others see? How soon before their little girl falls into the same trap others her age, and younger, have and she starts dressing provocatively because all of her friends do and/or so boys will like her?

I almost feel like a hypocrite feeling the way I do about this particular subject. After all, I remember how I was when I was a kid and I’m sure you were the same…

We couldn’t wait to grow up; we wanted adults to treat us as equals. Yet no matter what we did or how we acted, we still retained a type of innocence that today’s kids don’t seem to have. It’s as if it were stripped away, leaving nothing in its place. We could go out to play with our friends (male and female), leaving as soon as we finished breakfast only to come home as the street lights were coming on, many hours later. Today, you need to know where the kids will be playing, who will be included and have a designated return time with regular check-ins throughout the day and HOPEFULLY, none of the girls become pregnant.

Please don’t misunderstand, I’m not JUST blaming parents for how children are today; I’m also blaming the media.

There isn’t any logical reason kids should feel pressured to look, act, think and/or behave in any way other than that of a child, yet almost every time you turn on the television, you will see commercials and programs selling sex. Oh sure, there’s usually some product they’re trying to convince you to buy, but in most cases, they are using something sexual to get your attention. This wouldn’t be a problem if our society was more open-minded and honest, but we’re repressed. Sex is one of those taboo subjects that isn’t discussed in polite society, it isn’t fodder for conversation (dinner or otherwise) and we’d rather let someone else teach our kids about it than spend a moment embarrassed trying to explain it ourselves.

With my two older daughters, I told them each the same thing as I was signing their permission slips to take part in Sex Ed:  “Take the class. You’ll be around others your own age and they will have the same questions you probably do. You will each feel as if you’ll die from embarrassment if you raise your hand to ask a question, but it’s the only way to get answers. To ask. When you get home, we’ll talk and I’ll answer any questions you may still have.”

I’ll be repeating this speech to my oldest son very soon.